When I Am Not Enough

By: Lizzie Reezay

The hugest breakthrough for me in the past year has been realizing that I am not enough.  I am SO prideful that God had to break me down to teach me that I'm completely inadequate.  I don't have the power to heal people who feel broken or solve injustices in the world or save people who aren't believers. 

I prayed for wisdom daily when I was younger, and through answering all of those prayers God has opened my eyes and broken my heart to a lot of the pain and evil of the world. Millions are suffering from emotional pain of feeling broken.  Half the world is suffering physically from extreme poverty that causes hunger and disease, with 27 million of them living in slavery.  Most tragically, there are so many millions who are spiritually dead, either trapped in apathy or people who have never heard the Gospel. 

Being aware of all of this has been extremely overwhelming to me. My personality is very task-oriented so I gravitate toward fixing things and solving problems, so much so that I try to face these huge problems and actually do something about them.  So many times, it has felt like these extreme burdens overpowering and crushing me. 

I DO believe God calls every single one of us to surrender our lives to redeeming the world with Him.  We are never supposed to ignore or walk away from or avoid doing anything about all this brokenness that exists. But the burden is all gone, because redemptive justice is happening through God's power.  Not your power.  Not my power.  All God.  He is strong enough to heal people who are broken and bring about universal justice and take people who are spiritually dead and inspire them into a passionate, radical spiritual life.  Not us.  It's never us doing any of that.  God primarily uses people to accomplish His will, but it is not our healing or our strength or our money or our passion or our inspiration or our knowledge.  It's the Holy Spirit working through us.  God equipping us through all of who He is. 

This year I finally surrendered to that reality.  I fully accepted that I am not strong enough or good enough or compassionate enough to bring people to Christ or heal people who are scarred or make a huge dent on eliminating suffering from global poverty.  But God is.  So every day, we need to let go of our pride and surrender all the problems and brokenness we're worrying about to God through prayer.  He is the redeemer and He invites us all to redeem the world with Him. 

The biggest tragedy of our lives would be missing out on this redemptive process, because through working with our Creator to save all the broken and suffering and spiritually lost, we develop this amazing intimacy with the God of the Universe. 

That's the purpose of this world, for us to discover the immeasurable depths and millions of facets of who God is.  To completely surrender to Him, admit we need Him and offer Him what He deserves: All of us.  Our thoughts.  Our words.  Our time.  Our lives.  And through all of that, to love Him.  To delight in Christ. To discover spiritual riches that fulfill our hearts immeasurably more than anything we could have imagined for our lives.  

Then, at the end our lives when this earth merges with Heaven and God fully redeems us— we’ll live forever in His presence in this utopian spiritual community where we get to stand before God's throne, experience Him in all of His vastness and Glory, stare up into perfection, and worship our Savior.

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