Moving On (An Open Letter to Any Girl Who’s Heart Broken)

Some day you'll forget how it felt being with him.  You'll laugh with your best friend about the times he made you cry.  You'll be able to hear his name without your heart beating so fast. You'll pass by him at school and smile at each other— nothing more.   You'll hear from a mutual friend about a new girl he's dating and feel happy for her and for him.  You'll go the morning and then a half day and then a whole day without thinking of him.  And you'll begin to slowly forget him— over time losing the memories you swore you'd never let go of.  

But right now, you haven't even begun healing. It feels like a family member died from your life.  You switch between feeling emotionally numb to crying so hard you can barely breathe.  All the words he labeled you with in the heat of the breakup are seared into the forefront of your mind, and they entrap you in insecurity.  You lay awake most nights till two, three in the morning thinking and thinking and leaving your room when the crying gets too loud that you'll wake up your roommate. You can't conceptualize a future where you'll ever feel yourself again, without him as a part of you.  Right now, you're in the beginning of the mourning phase and you'll stay here for a long time.  It's good that you're here.  

 

It's been a couple weeks and nothing has changed.  You think of him the moment you wake up and then all throughout the day. A song lyric, the way someone phrases something, a quote he sent to you, a promise he made— brings him back into vivid consciousness. You see him in so many crowds.  Every guy with a blue hat or dark hair seems to be him.  You pass by him so often on your campus and lingered eye contact, a few seconds of the sound of his voice… triggers so many emotions.  You have a playlist of dozens of songs that remind you of him and you torture yourself listening through the music, analyzing lyrics and replaying memories, holding on so tightly because you don't want to forget any part of him.  

You'll agree to meet up to give each other closure and it will cut you open even more.  When he's walking away, you feel this urge to call after him and tell him to turn back and stay with you longer.  But instead you turn away and walk back to your dorm alone.  You cry yourself to sleep that night.  The day it ended your best friend gave you chocolate and stroked your hair while you cried.  She's been with you every day, but it's not helping.  You're always surrounded by people, but you feel lonely.  They don't understand the depths of you like he did.  They can't get to the parts of you he hurt.  

For months after you'll want to reach out to him, tell him all of how you feel.  So you write out texts and letters and messages that you never send.  You practice conversations in your head of what you’ll say the next time you see him. But you never reach out, never acknowledge because you’re scared of hurting him even more.  You’re scared he doesn’t want to hear from you. And a part of you believes so strongly he wants nothing to do with you, that he's already stopped caring, that he's rapidly forgetting.  

You try to stay away from him, because everything hurts.  And you utilize so much self control to never reach out to him, to avoid events he'll be at, to not bring him up to your friends who know him.  You desperately want to see him, talk to him, but you need to protect yourself.  This one song he played one time when you were together brings back every emotion of him so strongly.  It comes on the radio way too often and you always force your friend to change the station. 

 

It’s been 6 months and you still cry yourself to sleep.  The breakup comes over you like waves.  You'll go a couple weeks and feel over him and healed, but then it'll hit you all over again.  You feel tangled up in him, like you couldn't move on even if you wanted to.  He knew these depths of your soul you'd never shown anyone else and you grew together and he changed you.  You still can't separate yourself from him and that's okay.  That's good.  It's beautiful how much you cared, how much you still care.  

You miss him terribly and you're up late one summer night, googling and reading through chat forums discussing if sometimes you go through a breakup and never end up healing from it.  You read stories of people who 5, 7 years later are still hurting and missing the person and it's terrifying— what if that's you?  What if you never heal?  At the same time, you can't imagine ever forgetting him.  You don't want to.  You don't want to move on.   You want him back and you know you'll end up with him in the end.  You have to.  

It's been a year and he says he's over you.   But so many times when you're crying about something, you still have the urge to reach out to him, like you still want him to be strong for you.  You pray for him a lot and you think so often how in Heaven none of this will matter, all the hurt will be healed and you can be best friends with him again.   You've gone on dates, talked to new guys and they interest you and it's fun.  They make new parts of you feel understood, but none of them are him.  Half of your favorite songs remind you of the relationship.  All the new music you listened to while you were together, you deleted from your iTunes, but you connect memories of him to so many songs you listen to.  He's been out of your life for so long, but he's still there.  Friend after friend tells you to "just move on”— to stop talking about it, stop thinking about him. But your heart isn’t that simple.

 

It's been two years and you realize one day you haven't thought of him in a while.  Most of your best friends now, you didn't even know when you were with him.  You have new mutual friends who never knew you as a couple.  You still can't talk to him without being awkward and stuttering on your words, so you don't approach him.  You still feel attracted to him when you see him and it's annoying, but you know it doesn't mean anything.  You start talking to a new guy and don't immediately compare him to your ex.  He's a lot different and he embraces the parts of you that your ex wanted to change.  He reminds you that you're supposed to be outspoken and bold and emotionally intense and he likes that about you, because he's the same.  You feel understood  just by listening to him.  And you're not scared of being hurt.   Your connection with this new guy is so simple, and you feel now what you lacked with your ex.  You're not insecure anymore and you go back to loving and growing the parts of yourself that your ex labeled as wrong.

It's been three years and who you were when you were with him was a completely different person than who you are now.  Looking back, that's what moving on from him came down to: changing and growing.  You only got over him, when who you were became too far away, too different from who he knew you as.  You've cared so much about another guy and you understand now why it couldn't have worked with him.  And you're glad it didn't.  But one day you wake up, engrossed in a dream that he was in.  It was vivid and it felt so real.  Your heart is beating so fast and you think back at the past few days, wondering what triggered it.  You think of him for the first time in weeks and on your morning run, you listen to a song that was out when you were with him.  All the emotions are gone, but you can still remember some parts of him.   And you're grateful.

He changed you.  He made you into someone more humble and gentle and open-minded.  He changed your theology and philosophical beliefs far beyond what was comfortable, but he was right about so many things that you only realize looking back.  He understood parts of you better than you did.  And at the time he made you feel understood and known in a way that no one else had.  He made you laugh when you were crying and he showed you different ways to look at the world.  He loved you so well and even though it was chaotic and imperfect, it was a beautiful relationship and you wouldn't take back any of it.

 

You're back at your old college now to see some of your friends graduate, and he's graduating too.  You pass by him in the hall and don't feel anything.  You just exchange greetings and keep walking.  And it feels right, that there's nothing there anymore.  During the ceremony, your mutual friend tells you his plans for the fall and you smile and laugh and feel happy for him, because it's so him, so him.  

And it's comforting to you, that some parts of people never really change.  You've known for a while that you'll never go through a breakup as awful as it was with him.  You were chaotic together and he was your first love.  There's nothing left to say anymore, because you've processed everything.  He was really important to you in the past.  And that's all it is now.  All that it has been.  He's been dead in your life for a long time, and it just took way longer for your heart to catch up with reality.      

 

53 Comments

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    If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

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  11. Yerli Araba 2019
    December 27, 2018

    Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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  12. 2019 Yerli Otomobil
    December 27, 2018

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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    December 27, 2018

    Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  14. Oyun Hileleri
    December 27, 2018

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

    Reply
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    December 27, 2018

    Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

    Reply
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  17. Teknoloji Sitesi
    December 28, 2018

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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  18. Magazin Programları
    December 28, 2018

    I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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  19. Alexa Düşürme Yöntemleri
    December 28, 2018

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    I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

    Reply
  21. Yeni Meslekler 2019
    December 28, 2018

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

    Reply
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    December 28, 2018

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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    Reply
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    I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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  31. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

    Reply
  32. Alexa Düşürme Teknikleri
    January 3, 2019

    The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

    Reply
  33. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

    Reply
  34. Magazin Programları
    January 3, 2019

    The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

    Reply
  35. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

    Reply
  36. Yerli Araba
    January 3, 2019

    The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

    Reply
  37. Oyun Hilesi İndir
    January 3, 2019

    If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

    Reply
  38. 2019 Model Otomobiller
    January 3, 2019

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

    Reply
  39. 2019 Yeni Meslekler
    January 3, 2019

    Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

    Reply
  40. Sesli Sohbet
    January 3, 2019

    Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

    Reply
  41. Sesli Sohbet
    January 3, 2019

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

    Reply
  42. Hasta Bakımı Ankara
    January 3, 2019

    Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

    Reply
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    January 3, 2019

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

    Reply
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    I was faced with a heart breaking relationship problem with my girlfriend. i was in a relationship with my girl for more than 2 years and we already made plans we were going to get married. suddenly she started acting differently and get upset at everything i do. our relationship got real nasty and she told me she wasn’t interested in me anymore. she said she does not love me anymore. i didn’t know all this were happening because she was seeing a new guy until i found out.I kept on pleading with her to accept me back because i was so in love and my life revolved around her.i tried every possible means to change her mind all to no avail.

    Things got bad for me because We were working in the same company so i get to see her always.i was in severe pain because our love life was so sweet before things got messy.This pain continued until i spoke with a close friend of mine who out of pity led me to a great spell caster called BABA ARUOSA whom he told me was extremely powerful and has helped him with a problem.

    So without any delay i contacted him. immediately i contacted him i knew he had the exact answers to my problems because i could feel his powers from his carefully selected words and calmness.I told him my problems and immediately he told me what to do.I did what i was asked to do and never doubted him.Immediately i began to see some positive changes and everything began to work out well. my girlfriend returned back and asked for my forgiveness.Finally my crumbling relationship has been restored and everything has been well for us and we’ll be getting married soon. all thanks to this great and powerful spell caster.
    Remember this testimony will only be meaningful if not ignored so anyone with relationship/marriage problems should contact him through his email : templeofsupernaturalcontact(at)gmail(dot)com for his help. i know he’s capable of solving your relationship/marriage problems.

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  47. Chadwick Amberson
    January 7, 2019

    It is perfect time to make a few plans for thelonger term and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this put up andif I may just I wish to suggest you few attention-grabbing issues or tips.

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  48. Chryssy Berry from USA
    January 9, 2019

    heal from broken heart” Love spell from dr.Unity brought my husband back”contact Unityspelltemple@gmail.com

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  49. Michelle
    January 15, 2019

    Real spell caster that can help you get back your lover, husband, wife back contact manifestspellcast@gmail.com

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    January 18, 2019

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    January 20, 2019

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