No One Understands Me (My Desire for Depth)

I’m someone who is very in-touch with my emotions.  I do a lot of journaling, praying, and applying different songs to my feelings.  I live by Aristotle’s “know thyself” in that I spend so much time inside my head, thinking and analyzing to understand the depths of my convictions and passions and talents and fears and 
experiences.  



Understanding gives me peace.  And feeling 
understood by the people in my life is more 
important to me than feeling cared for or 
loved. My personality is very 
detail-oriented and so I crave this feeling of 
depth in my relationships with other people. 
But I don’t often get it.  I’m an extrovert and 
I’m very expressive, but so often I feel like 
people don’t care.  People have good 
intentions, but they’re busy or not curious or maybe scared of digging deeper to really discover and understand the core of another’s identity.   



My sophomore year of college I dated a guy who was equally intense as I was in communicating with depth.  We had the longest conversations about our religious and political beliefs, what we were learning in our classes, injustices in the world, and how we were interacting with God.  He was inspiring.  And he dramatically changed how I think about the world.  For months and months after we broke up, I had this persistent discontentment of not feeling known.  I felt so misunderstood because I had lost the one person in my life who interacted with me with so much meaningful depth and who treasured me for that.  Adjusting to life post-break up is so disorienting and painful, but I didn’t expect it to feel lonely too.     



Maybe people like my ex are rare.  Or maybe I’m too intense in thinking of conversations and life so seriously.  But I don’t think so.  I don’t think any of us were created to be superficial and to not think deeply about our lives and about the world.  I think that all of us have an underlying desire for depth in our lives.  Maybe sometimes people don’t realize what they’re missing or don’t know how to get to it, but I think everyone is craving it.  I think everyone needs to feel known. 



I find it tragic when I have friendships with people where we don’t grow and change, because we aren’t thriving off of discussing ideas and emotions and spirituality.  It’s like this meaningless pleasure that shouldn’t be a normal way of being friends with someone.  Something my ex shared with me back when we were best friends is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt,  “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”  At the time I remember loving the quote so much, but the one thing I don’t like about it is how it seems to categorize people, like we’re each born with a specific type of mind and stuck there.  I disagree with that.  I think we can shape our souls and our minds by what we think about and talk about and what we focus on. 



If you want to have meaning and depth in the relationships in your life, know that you already have a great mind.  So start discussing ideas.  Start asking questions to your friends about parts of their lives that matter to them.  Start focusing on being a good listener.  Start loving people by making them feel known and treasured. 



I think change happens in the most natural way with love.  When a specific type of love is shown to someone and then they desire to give that back to other people— that’s when the most powerful change happens.  My hope for this world is that we would desire to learn something in every conversation, that we would crave depth so much that conversations would be used to understand and to make others feel known.  Create this change with me by talking less and listening more, and in so doing you’ll inspire the people around you to do the same.  

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    January 1, 2019

    If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

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    January 3, 2019

    I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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    January 3, 2019

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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    January 3, 2019

    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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    January 3, 2019

    Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  18. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  19. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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    January 3, 2019

    The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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    Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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  22. Son Dakika Dünya Haberleri
    January 3, 2019

    This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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    January 3, 2019

    The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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    I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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    Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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